Fuck you, Katy Perry.Seriously. F-U-C-K Y-O-U.
A formerly contemporary-Christian artist called Katy Perry has just scored the 1,000th #1 hit of the rock era with "I Kissed a Girl", an obnoxious, braying Pink-ish rocker about, well, kissing a girl. Not in the sense of coming out of the closet, mind you, or even in the sense of poking fun at guys for being unappreciative of women (as Jill Sobule did with her far more clever song of the same title a dozen or so years ago), but of manipulatively turning her boyfriend on by playing into some tired old tropes. Fuck that gay shit, but two chicks—that's hot, man! You can almost smell the Cro-Magnons as they give each other fist bumps when this comes on at some trashy strip club.
In the video, Katy pets her pussycat (wow, subversive and subliminal!) and sings of getting tipsy enough to suck cherry Chap Stick off another girl's lips ("I hope my boyfriend don't mind it," she adds with a Hilton-worthy wink; and no, that's not a compliment to her). Of course, the video ends with her realizing it was all a dream, from which she wakes next to said boyfriend, safely straight, safely normal. She likes it because she doesn't have to apprehend the reality of it.
Faux lesbianism is antifeminist, it's tedious, and it sets the real gay-rights movement back a few steps every time it rears its vapidly giggling head. It's the exact opposite of what Pride is all about, and I'm going to scream every time I hear it this weekend. Katy Perry, you suck, and I hope you call your next inane song "I Shoved a Stick of Dynamite Up My Hoo-Ha." I'd like it!
5 comments:
Apart from the fact that I've never heard this song and am typically wary (re: disgusted by) the pop charts this comes as no surprise. It's almost pandering given her Christian artist background.
It reminds me of an old argument I had with a friend. A bunch of us were discussing the new show at the time "Queer Eye" and how much we liked it. One of my friends who had become Very Catholic in recent years said that he thought the show was fine, but didn't like it when they hugged at the end. I bluntly asked him why and he said, "it just wasn't right." I pushed him farther to explain what was wrong with hugging another guy when you're happy and he repeated that "it wasn't right." I then told him he was being homophobic and ridiculous and he countered with "it clearly states in the bible that being a homosexual is against God's will. So I disapprove of it." To which I replied, with his wife next to him, "Do you also believe the parts of the bible where it could be interpreted that your wife should be your slave and it's okay to kill your children if God commands it? And by the way, I recall you not minding homosexuality that much when we were watching two female strippers getting it on at your bachelor party." Needless to say, he had no rebuttal. Thankfully he's become less pig-headed and started paying attention to the good parts of Christianity. Mainly, love your neighbor.
I've heard the song maybe twice on my drives to and from Cambridge. I have to admit my reaction has been mainly eye-rolling--"Yeah, yeah, okay; this might have been naughtily transgressive when I was in high school but haven't we moved on a bit in the past couple of decades? Of course your boyfriend doesn't mind, you vapid little twit."
And the music stinks. #1, forsooth....
PA: [cleans coffee off of keyboard]
If her next hit is actually titled "I Shoved a Stick of Dynamite Up My Hoo-Ha" I will celebrate your triumph by personally coming down to Brooklyn to kiss a guy.
Then write a song about it.
I just find comfort in the thought that Katy Perry won't exist in a year.
Katy Perry = more popular and more talented than you idiots
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